This is the fourth blog in the 31 blog challenge. It questions what I’m afraid of. I know what I’m not afraid of, death, not that I’m looking forward to it. But I have learned the hard way that I’m not, on the day I almost died. If I had to pick a fear, it would be with living with too many regrets, when the end is near of life as we know it.
The Day I Almost Died
I remember every detail like it was yesterday. I was beginning to lose a lot of blood through my monthly cycles to the point that I had to bring myself to the ER twice needing a blood transfusion. Talk of surgery to change things had begun. This particular day I was at a clinical eye study that required me to be there a few hours. Every move I made no matter how slight, I felt more loss of blood. I didn’t think anything of it due to this becoming normal for me. At the end of the appointment I made my way down the elevator and down the hall to the exit. I felt weaker with every step.
So Near, Yet So Far
By the time I made it to the entrance to the parking lot, I was very weak. I looked towards my car, which was about the distance of the width of two streets side by side and did not think I had enough energy to make it to it. I shot up some prayers, braced myself and somehow made it to my car. As I moved and opened my car door and climbed in, I felt much more loss of blood. Before I started driving my self home, I called my doctor and made an appointment for the next day, still not realizing how bad off I was.
Journey through my home to the upstairs bathroom.
Outside of my driveway, while sitting in my car, I looked at the three steps to the door leading into the house in a way that I never had before. I knew I was going to have to make my way past the downstairs bathroom, through the kitchen, dining room, front hallway and up the stairs and down the hall to the second floor bathroom that had the sanitary napkins. As I made my way past the counter in the kitchen without realizing it, I dropped my phone onto the counter. This will be significant later in the story. I made my way to the front of the house to the bottom of the stairs that led to the second floor. I stood there for a moment and braced myself for the climb.
All Alone and Dizzy
When I got to the top of the stairs, I was considerably weaker and getting dizzy. My pocketbook in my hand started to feel like a ton of bricks. Across from me was my bedroom. I flung my purse which landed on the bed. I had no energy to walk my purse over to the bed. I made it to the bathroom and after plopping myself onto the toilet, that’s when I noticed it. Oh Nooooooo!!!!
Spinning and Spinning
As you must have figured out by now, nobody else was home. My room mate and her two children were not at home. I was alone. That’s when I noticed there was no toilet paper. Absolutely none. That’s when I heard motion downstairs and knew that my room mate would come up the stairs to her room and I could ask her to get me some. But as the voices got closer, I knew it was a realtor showing our house that was for sale. I felt like I was dropped off a cliff. I knew I could not ask him to get some and so I had to let them know they couldn’t see the bathroom because I was sick. So finally they left. As I sat on the toilet, the room started to spin and would not stop spinning. The slightest move and it would spin around again and again. I tried to stay as still as possible, but to no avail. At this point, I knew something was very wrong. Somehow, I managed to get myself together to make my way back down the hallway to get to my bedroom at the other end of the hallway to get my phone. At this point, I did not realize it was downstairs on the kitchen counter.
Stopped Cold
As I stood there at the bathroom door, keeping as still as possible to not provoke more spinning, I wondered if I would make it down the hallway to call 911 on my phone that I hadn’t realized was downstairs. I slowly moved down the hall but halfway from my bedroom, I stopped cold, leaning my right side against the wall. I could not take another step for my energy was literally all spent. I couldn’t even turn my body to put my back against the wall. I realized later that this saved my life. Had I turned my back to the wall, I would have slid down and lapsed into sleep which could have led to death. With all the blood loss I had, I needed to stay awake. Forced to stay standing against the wall, kept me awake. I wouldnt put it past one of God’s angels to have held me there and made it so I couldnt turn my body to slide down against the wall. Are they not all ministering angels, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation? Hebrews 1:14 , to keep thee in all thy ways. For he shall give His angels charge over thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Psalm 91:11-12
The Waiting Game
All I could do is stand there and wait for my room mate to come home. I’m not sure how long I had waited. 5 minutes, half an hour? I had lost all sense of time. Despite waiting while knowing something was seriously wrong, I still had peace. I wasn’t in panic mode. I contributed this to my relationship with Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. As a believer, I knew that no matter what circumstances that I found myself in, I had His protection. He would send His angels to watch over me. Later when I found out how bad off I was, I understood that there was a reason why I could not turn my body to slide down to the floor to rest. Had I done so, due to so much blood loss, I might have very well slipped into death if I slept. Whether God used an angel to hold me in the standing position or not, He protected me by having me stay awake.
The Room Mate Returns
Finally, I heard what sounded like my room mate returning home and it was not a realtor this time. I heard them coming through the house, making their way to the bottom of the stairs. I assumed that my room mate would enter the hallway first. I assumed wrong. Her daughter, who was about 11 years of age, came up the stairs first. I must have looked a sight, because she screamed at the sight of me. If you ever saw a black person turn white, I did for the first time in my life. She raced back down the stairs and I heard her telling her mother about me. I found out later that I had lost so much blood, that my skin was white and my lips were brown.
Racing For Help
I heard them walking faster to get to me up the stairs. As my room mate got to me, I was so weak that I could barely raise my hand and barely speak, whispering, “Call 911”. When they arrived and saw the state I was in, I remember the guy saying for me not to shut my eyes. Then they brought in the chair that would carry me down the stairs. There were a lot of people there with the fire dept. and ambulance answering the call. In the ambulance, as they raced me to the hospital, they attached me to an intravenous bag to stabilize me. When I arrived at the hospital, the ED staff looked at me in shock. I overheard the paramedics tell them that they should have seen me before they gave me fluids intravenously.
Blood So Low, I Should Have Been Dead
They immediately started giving me blood. My blood type is B-. Not the rarest, but not the most common, but thankfully, they had blood for me. I later found out that, when I arrived at the hospital, my blood level was 4. A women’s normal level is supposed to be around 11. When a woman goes down to level 7 due to blood loss, a transfusion is usually done. I found out that I was at a dangerous level of 4. God protected me. He is not finished with me yet. In later years, I’ve learned to appreciate life and God’s protection. When I start to get negative, this helps me to look at the positives in my life.